Inspired by Led Zeppelin’s set opener at their comeback gig in London this week, it’s time to look back on the year they’re already calling 2007 and work out just who had good times, and who had bad times.
IT’S BEEN A GOOD YEAR FOR THE ROSES
SCOUSE BURGLARS
There’s no better time to be burglar in Liverpool, and with the multi-millionaire Liverpool squad qualifying for the next round of the Champions League, that’s another night away from home for the players, and an eternity away from home for their medals. But wouldn’t you think guys earning £1million a year could afford decent security? It’s not like they haven’t been warned.
SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON
A modern day miracle worker. Turning Manchester City into a credible football team is akin to producing a decent Jude Law film. Well nigh impossible. But Sven has done the job, so much so that you’d think he’d be a shoo-in for the England manager’s job. If he hadn’t made such a dog’s breakfast of it the first time.
STEVE McCLAREN
Steve McClaren? Are you sure? Yes, the boy done good. Out of his depth, like a pygmy on Viagara, he still trousered several millions worth of English pounds and need never work again. So, no change from the previous year really.
DAVID JAMES
Just for not being Paul Robinson or Scott Carson. The safest goalkeeper in England. That it’s come to this.
WEST HAM UNITED
The greatest year in their history. Got relegated and yet they’re still playing in the Premier League.
AVRAM GRANT
Unbelievable, that he should replace Jose Mourinho at the helm of the richest club in the world. That’s like Henry, the mild mannered janitor, turning into Hong Kong Phooey.
PETER CROUCH
Because even in the Bash Street Kids in “The Beano”, Plug never ended up with a girl that looked like Abigail Clancy. And that was only a comic.
IT’S BEEN A BAD DAY, PLEASE DON’T TAKE A PICTURE
HARRY REDKNAPP
Poor old ‘Arry. Helping Police with their enquiries - the station nick’s team was after a ball playing centre-half, from Latvia, no baggage - and then getting an earful from the fans at Villa Park. And he ain’t done nuffink. And then, when he finally got his laptop back, who thought it was funny to put all those little brown envelopes in his Outlook Express folder?
RAFA BENITEZ
A second European Cup final, new owners pumping fortunes into Liverpool, qualification for the knockout phase of the Champions League again. All seems to be going well. But what the hell is that beard about?
GORDON STRACHAN
On the face of it, a decent year. Won the SPL, has joined Benitez in the knockout stages of the Champions League, won’t have to take the Scotland job. Couldn’t be better. But you know Gordon. He’ll find something to be miserable about.
PAUL JEWELL
Said he was tired of the stresses and strains of struggling with a relegation haunted side like Wigan. And then took the job at Derby. Has he got his eyes on inside out when he looks at the league table?
BILLY DAVIES
Not only lost the Derby job but did so too late in the year for him to audition as an oompa-loompa in the local “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” panto. Oh yes he did.
JOEY BARTON
The serial killer’s footballer, Barton is ready for another appearance before the beak which could see him being sent down for a spell at Her Majesty’s pleasure. He says it doesn’t frighten him. You sure about that Primrose?
STEVE BRUCE
Nothing particularly grim happened to him, not even getting the Wigan job. But he still looks like a potato, and that can’t be nice.
FABIO CAPELLO
Hard lines mate. |
