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The gated community has been something of a social
phenomenon of the last few years, communities set up inside a closed
perimeter of fences, walls, even security entrances in some cases.
In many cases, particularly in the more affluent areas, they come
with security staff, CCTV cameras and a number of other measures,
all designed to keep the rich inside and the undesirables (the not
so rich) outside.
Which is obviously where the Premier League got the idea.
I know this is getting repetitive, this harping on about money,
but stick with it because this is the footballing equivalent of
the Heimlich manoeuvre. Those of us who are constantly pointing
the finger at the Premiership are desperately trying to prevent
our national game choking itself. Whatever Al Gore says about us
being at the tipping point as regards climate change, that ain’t
the half of it for football. The game is drowning in its own Roman
orgy of excess - and no, Chelsea alone aren’t to blame.
But they are top of the list, thanks to the way Abramovich has changed
the game, revolutionised it and turned it into an extension of the
FTSE-100. The Premier League is a gated community. You can come
and visit for a year maybe, but if you want to stay, you better
be able to stump up a couple of hundred million or we’ll be
running your cheap, filthy ass out of town.
And not only is the Premier League like that, the top four is a
community within a community. The top four this year? Chelsea, Manchester,
Arsenal, Liverpool. Last year The same. Next year? The same. Because
the entry fee is too rich even for the blood of Freddy Shepherd,
Bill Kenwright, Randy Lerner and the rest. Just as Watford, Birmingham,
Wigan might all be allowed the occasional peek over the Premiership
wall, vaulting it to go and get their Championship ball back, so
Everton might, now and then, get a glimpse of the top four. But
if he sticks his nose through the window, David Moyes is going to
end up with a snout that looks like Van der Sar’s, so quickly
will they slam the window on it.
After the FA Cup semi-finals came to their all too predictable conclusions,
some of the pundits rejoiced that the country’s two finest
teams, Manchester United and Chelsea, would contest the Wembley
showpiece. Somehow it’s only right that they’re there.
Right in the sense that they’ve paid for the ticket presumably,
but not right if football is to remain a sport. And if it’s
to remain a sport, it must be unpredictable.
What are the great images of the FA Cup of recent times. Arsenal,
Liverpool or United lifting another pot? Or is it Ron Radford scoring
for Hereford, Ian Porterfield for Sunderland, Trevor Brooking for
West Ham, Mickey Thomas for Wrexham, Bobby Stokes for Southampton.
Those are the great moments. And look how long ago they are. They
don’t happen any more. They’re not allowed to happen any
more. The “market” won’t allow it.
So because everything that really matters happens inside the gate,
we are faced with the exciting prospect of Manchester United versus
Chelsea, ad infinitum, through the middle of May. First the potential
Premier League decider, then the FA Cup Final, then, perhaps, the
European Cup Final - and if Athens wasn’t full of ruins before
that game, it will be afterwards.
In which case, the last nine months have been essentially the same
as another run of Celebrity Big Brother - lots of noise, lots of
mock controversy, lots of posing but in the end, utterly futile.
Of course, if Sam Allardyce had gone on Match of the Day pretending
to be a cat with Gabby Logan.
If that’s the point that football has reached, then we’re
in a lot more trouble than the people at the top think. Assuming
they do think. Perhaps the empty seats at Old Trafford and Villa
Park for the semi-finals might have rung a few alarm bells?
Because price wasn’t the only reason people didn’t go,
even if it was the biggest one. Watford and Blackburn fans, offered
a big day out, didn’t want to go there just to be bit part
players in the coronation of United and Chelsea, and the creation
of the “People’s Final”.
Yes the likes of Watford have pretty much always travelled to these
big games as underdogs, but they’ve gone with hope in their
hearts, with belief they could upset the odds. Outside of Aidy Boothroyd’s
inner sanctum, in our hearts of hearts, who genuinely thought United
could be beaten?
If the game had taken place 20 years ago, Watford might have had
a one in chance of winning.
Now it’s a one in a hundred. And an even chance that United
would not only win, they’d run riot. It’s not fair, it’s
not sport, it’s not romantic and it’s not much fun any
more. At least if it had been Watford v Blackburn, there’d
have been a real game with everything up for grabs. The way it should
be. But that would have denied us the Cup Final “everyone”
wants.
Anybody else amazed that the draw somehow kept United and Chelsea
apart?
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